lady loves

lady love blog series

in the work i have been doing over the last couple of years, i see women marginalizing themselves in a myriad of ways. i see women feeling intimidated and unworthy and never, ever enough. and i see that so many of us have lost touch with the very important fact that we are each unique and powerful; that those things that come so innately, so naturally to each of us are truly our gifts, blessings, and offerings.

and so my great, big, from the bottom of my heart, hope with this project is that it will create an open and honest conversation about who we are as women; not just a glossy look at the five minutes of our day that went according to plan, not just us presenting who we think the world expects to see, but a real and authentic glimpse into how hard we all work and how we don't always get it right but how unique and beautiful and perfectly imperfect we all are regardless.

most of you know that my life has been profoundly shaped by my "failures" and i want to continue to push that envelope; for all of you to be able to share and witness the honesty and authenticity of other women and know that you are not alone and that we all stumble.

and, most importantly, to all of my lady loves, your depths and your beauty shake me to my very bones. i bow in reverence to the beauty that you are and to the audacious heart that you embody.

hello sweethearts!

we had some technical internet glitches {code: the wifi up and quit}, but all is back to normal and i am delighted to be sharing another phenomenal human being with you today.

when i opened heather's reply to my call for honest, authentic women, i was moved.

she is so real. and beautifully vulnerable. and i could  feel her energy, the charge and the comfort of it, as i read...her anguish, her joy, her easy-going kindness.

you'll see, but in the simplicity and honesty of her answers i felt she was right there with me.

i have not yet had the pleasure of meeting heather in person, but i would put my money on the fact that she is all heart. and i really dig that.

ok. i could go on and on, but i want you to see for yourself.


tell me a bit about who you are?

good question. that’s exactly what i’m trying to figure out. i guess that’s the answer... i’m a young woman (29) trying to listen to my heart/spirit/soul/ intuition (whatever you may call it) with the goal of learning who i am, and what i want.

what do you do? 

that’s easier.
i’m a registered nurse. what i do, primarily, is provide parents with knowledge and support; enabling them to make informed decisions as they care for their families. 

i’m a mother. i talk to my child, play with my child, care for and nurture him. i try my best to teach him my values, and to treat him like a person. i struggle with finding the balance in encouraging him to live wild and free, while being respectful and disciplined. 

i’m a wife. what do i do? i love him. i help him be the person that he wants to be by supporting and encouraging him, and talking him through things. when i say ‘i support and encourage’ , it doesn’t mean unending praise and confidence boosting. i’m real with him. i think that’s important.
no... imperative.

when you look around at your life, is this what you expected? are you surprised by it? if so, by what and why? 

it’s not exactly what i expected. actually straight up NO. it’s not what i expected. i am in the roles that i expected to be in, but i don’t feel the way i expected to feel. i used to be under the illusion that once i acquired A, B, and C that life would be magical, oh so happy and perfect, happily ever after, the end. 

well...i have acquired A, B, and C and while it is wonderful, (please don’t get me wrong, i love it all, and am so grateful for all i have), it’s still freaking hard!

life with it’s many joys also has many challenges, some devastating. i’ve learned that this will never end. life has misery in it, it’s part of the story. but the silver lining in it all (as i see it) is that with misery or challenge, comes the chance to grow. this may not make the pain worth while, but at least there is still something good. 

so, i was surprised to learn it will never be smooth sailing, pleased to learn i can make some good come from it, and relieved that i learned this in my 20’s rather than in my 80’s. 

What would most people be surprised to find out about you?

when you think i am SO worried, i’m only a little worried. when i’m SO worried, you won’t know it.

i’m a worrier, a fretter... it’s true. but i’ve noticed that i come across as way more worried than i am. i guess because i vocalize it and am animated. guess i could tone that down a little. here’s the thing...when something’s really wrong, i keep it quiet. pretty backwards right? i’ll work on that.

What has been the peak experience in your life thus far? why? how did it change you? !

someone hurt me really badly once. my whole world seemed to crash down in an instant. i felt powerless as everything changed against my will. the pain overwhelmed me. it tore everything down. it changed me. 

recovering from this experience has challenged me in many ways, but most importantly it has challenged me to see the world differently and to see myself differently. 

i’m more forgiving, i’m more compassionate, and i’m more open minded now. even though i hate the experience that i had, and i wish it hadn’t happened, i’m better because of it. i’ve grown. i don’t think the experience changed me. i think that i changed myself after my experience. i own that, i’m proud of that. 

What are you passionate about? 

mommas and babies. i’ve always known this. as a kid my best friend and i performed c-sections on each other in the sandbox with our play dough knife and for five years i was a labor and delivery nurse. 

secret? my eyes filled with tears at every delivery. it doesn’t get old. 

now i teach prenatal classes and do home visits for moms and their new babies. i adore this too. it’s a privilege and a pleasure to be a part of a family’s oh so special experience.

what are the qualities that truly matter to you? which ones do you fully embody? which ones are missing or needing to be more fully expressed?

compassion, generosity, transparency, loyalty, courage, dependability, tolerance. 

compassion is my strength.

courage: this is what i am working on. fear is natural, it’s there to protect us. but i’ve learned that it cannot always protect us. if there isn’t real, known danger...then fear just stops us from being alive, and prevents our growth. i want to accept fear when i am in danger, and learn to overcome it when i am not in danger. 

i want to live wild and free, to me this means living fully, enjoying what life has to offer without being debilitated by irrational fears and “what if’s”. 

if you could sit down with a woman you greatly admire, what one question would you ask? 

if i sat down with kael klassen i would ask, “want a coffee? i’d love to hear your story.” 
{i would reply with "heck yes i do and how long do you have?". also, this coffee date WILL happen.}

do you have a dream, a wish or a “to-do” that you are currently resisting? if yes, and you feel ready to share, what is it? why do you think the resistance is there?

turning my hobby, taking pictures, into my career. 

i’m resisting for a few reasons:
- pure and simple financial reasons
- i like my current job
- and i’m concerned that i would miss my hobby

you are at your best when you are?


no really, i have blood sugar issues.

i’m at my best when i’m taking good care of myself and when i’m taking time to make real connections with people.

when you are in that space of being your best, the exact thing you are doing, most often, is? 

connecting, alert, aware, and mindful of what living is, who i want to be, and what i need to do.

And, last but not least, you know i love a beautiful string of words so, please, share a quote that moves and shakes you.

be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away, all the same, knowing she has wings.
~ victor hugo

in closing here is my selfie. innately me, as requested.

i was bound and determined to use my camera and take a really nice, thoughtfully set up, portrait of myself. truth be told i was actually looking forward to this and decided it would be “me time”. i decided i would wait for a day this week when my hair was done. the end of the week still in a messy bun. 

ok, that’s fine. it’s supposed to be innately me. a messy bun drooping off my crown is obviously that. 

camera out and ready. this is still going to be great, i assured myself. 

snap snap. ok, that is so not what i pictured. 

snap snap. still no. 

cue toddler crying and pulling at my leg, “i want up pease mommy”. 

(this goes on and on)

ok, that’s fine, i’ll just take the picture while i hold him. i’m a mom. innately me right?

(picks toddler up)

what!?! my battery is dead.

screw it. where’s my iphone? 

messy bun wearing, whiny toddler holding, cheesy iphone selfie. 

that is innately me. 

p.s. he has ketchup on his nose.